Gee, THANKS, MySpace (my horror story)
Okay, so, I got this E-mail the other day from MySpace.com -

Your MySpace account has been deleted for violating our Terms of
Service.

This is usually due to one of the following:

* Nude images, sexually suggestive or violent photos
* Covering our banner ads with HTML
* Harassing other users
* You do not meet the minimum age requirement
* Spamming the classifieds, forums, bulletins, or other sections of the
site
* Attempting to artificially inflate scores
* Scripting the site

Your account cannot be restored. If you choose to return to MySpace,
please follow the rules.

So, I'm like, WTF? Is this for real? I had no warning or anything! And I've had this account for about three years! I thought, "There's no way this E-mail was real. This has to be fake." But I tried logging in, just to be sure. And, what do you know, I couldn't log in. I tried clicking "I forgot my password" to get my password sent to my E-mail account. However, MySpace claimed that my E-mail completely wasn't registered with them, DESPITE the fact that I was still receiving E-mails about friends requests and new messages.

So here was the E-mail I sent to MySpace:

Today I received an E-mail, seemingly from MySpace.com. I
am copying the message as it was mailed to me:
[E-MAIL WENT HERE]
At first, I actually thought that this might be a fake
E-mail created to fool me into giving out my E-mail and
password, or perhaps was trying to lead me to a phishing
site. However, when I tried to log into my account (just to
be sure) I found that I was completely unable to. I
attempted to look up my password, giving my E-mail address,
but I was told that my E-mail address could not be found. I
checked my page’s location
(http://www.myspace.com/marzgurlproductions) and it seems to
still exist. I don’t believe I am violating any terms of
service. If you could please contact me at
kaylyn_dicksion@yahoo.com as soon as possible I would
greatly appreciate it. If I had done something wrong I
would gladly work to fix it. Thank you.

Their "Technical Support" consisted of this stupid copy/paste thing which indicated to me that they totally didn't care and that they thought I was your standard not-net-savvy user.

If you already have an account, there could be several reasons why you cannot login.

Please read carefully over the following solutions that may help you with your login problems:

CLEARING YOUR COOKIES

Please verify that you are logging in with the correct password and username. We also recommend clearing your browser's cookies and temporary internet files and then try logging in again.

Often, changing internet browsers can do the trick. For example, try Internet Explorer if you are using AOL. Note: Mac users should use Safari or Firefox for the best browsing results.

Also, try lowering your browsers security settings. If you are using a firewall, try lowering those settings, if possible.

If you have already tried the methods above, check to make sure your profile still exists by finding your profile on the site. Also, look for comments you posted on your friends' profiles. If you cannot find your profile, it may have been deleted. MySpace may delete profiles if they violate the site's Terms and conditions. You cannot retrieve a deleted account.


TOO MANY FAILED LOGIN ATTEMPTS

When you cannot login and see the message in red letters “too many failed login attempts". Once you receive this error message you will have to change your email and password settings to correct the issue. Wait 15 minutes and try to log in again. If the problem persists, reply to this email for further assistance.


YOUR PASSWORD WAS CHANGED OR YOU FORGOT IT

If you have not done so already, go to myspace.com and click on the link 'Forgot Password'. An email will be sent to the email address you used to set up your profile in about 5 minutes. If you do not receive it within that time, you may have inadvertently entered an incorrect address. If your problem is logging in, click on "Login Trouble" and choose one of the links listed to address your concern or use the link below to have it sent to your email address:

http://collect.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.retrievepassword&MyToken=3b1fccb8-8d0c-4f64-8428-e4fd5f41899e


1. Enter the email address you signed-up with, and we'll email your password to you.

2. You'll receive an email with your password in a few minutes. Make sure to check your junk/bulk mail folder because sometimes it's sent there rather than your inbox.

If you do not receive your password, please reply to this message with the URL to your profile, your email address and a salute.


CREATING AND SENDING A SALUTE

1. A salute listing your friend id. (A salute is a current photo of you holding a handwritten sign with your friend id. The friend id is the last set of numbers in your URL in the address bar of your internet browser. You can find your friend id by using the 'Search' link to look for your profile. There is no need to login to your profile to use this feature.) This will be used for identification purposes only so please ensure we are able to clearly see your face.

2. Send the salute as an attachment to an email and include the new email address and password you'd like to use in the message.

We will email your password to you.

Please note that we do not accept birthdates for verification purposes.

If you are a band profile, you are required to submit a salute and send your request to musicsupport@myspace.com.

HAVING PROBLEMS SETTING UP AN ACCOUNT

If you can't create an account, we recommend deleting your browser's cookies and temporary internet files and then close all browsers and try signing up again. (Note: Mac users should use Safari or Firefox.) If this doesn't resolve the problem, try one of the solutions below:


* Please note, users of MySpace must be at least 14 years of age or older.

* Make sure you didn't add a space at the beginning or end of your email address or verification code.

* If someone is using your email address please send us an email from that email address to verify you are the legal owner and we will be able to delete that fake profile.

* If your account has been deleted for any reason, your email address may still be suspended in our system, so you might want to try a new email address. It may be some time before it is released.

* If you are shown an error message when attempting to create an account, try to submit your page again. If this does not work, please copy and paste it into the body of your reply email.

ACCOUNT DELETED

The profile in question has been deleted. We do not keep records of removed profiles or images. If it was removed by Myspace, it was because of a violation of our terms and conditions - which can include a number of issue (inappropriate images, spam, cyber bullying, underage use, etc). Please review our terms for further assistance:
http://collect.myspace.com/misc/terms.html?z=1&MyToken=82a93f2a-7c62-4928-aad8-f899fb4bc97b

Please note that once an account has been deleted, there is no way to re-activate the account or retrieve any of the information.



If you've tried each of these steps and continue to have problems please reply to this email for further assistance. Please do not alter the subject as it will be considered a new inquiry.

For the most up to date messages about MySpace, subscribe to the MySpace Help blog! You get updates almost every day! Go here to subscribe.

www.myspace.com/myspacehelp

Ugh, a load of bull, really. My response showed them that I was NOT, in fact, a fool:

1) This is not a cookies problem, as I have attempted to log in from several different computers.
2) Nor is it my browser settings. They are all dropped pretty low.
3) As I already stated in my E-mail below, my MySpace page does in fact still seems to exist (http://www.myspace.com/marzgurlproductions).
4) I never attempted to log in so many times that it gave me the "too many login attempts" error.
5) I attempted to retrieve my password, thinking that it was possible that I was typing the wrong password (which I'm SURE I'm not, seeing as how I've used the account for years), and I typed in the E-mail address associated with my account (kaylyn_dicksion@yahoo.com), but I got a response message saying that the E-mail address does not exist.

So, are you saying I need to send you a salute? Because apparently my E-mail no longer exists. I am assuming at this point that my account has SOMEHOW been associated with another E-mail address that isn't mine. What course of action should I be taking now? Any insight would be great. Thank you.

So, in order to verify that I really am who I say I am, this is what they asked me to do:

Hello,

In order to verify your identity, we need to receive a salute from the owner of the MySpace profile or from the party in question. A salute is a digital image or picture of you holding a handwritten sign that contains information about your MySpace account.



To create a salute, please do the following:



1. Create a handwritten sign with the word MySpace.com on it. Please also include your Friend ID number (Your friend ID is the number between "ID=" and "&mytoken", in your profile's web address/URL). If you do not have a MySpace profile/account, please include the email address that you will be sending your response from.



2. Have a digital image or picture taken of you holding the handwritten sign. Please be sure the photo is clear and the handwriting is easy to read. (If you do not have access to a digital camera, please consider the accessibility of disposable cameras and digital film processing available at most drug stores)



3. Next, reply to this email with the salute as an attachment or provide us with the web address/URL where the image has been uploaded.



4. If we are verifying your identity because someone has created an imposter profile of you, please provide both the imposter profile friend ID number(s) and web address(es)/URL(S), along with your request to have the imposter account(s) deleted.



5. If you want to change your login information, please include what you would like your new email log in address and password to be. Please be sure that the email is not currently in use or associated with another MySpace profile. Once we receive this information, we will update your account for you.



Please understand that a salute is our only reliable means to verify identity. Without a salute, we do not have a way of knowing the true owner of the MySpace profile. Once a salute is reviewed and your identity is verified, the image will be discarded and we will proceed with your request. Unfortunately, without a salute we will not be able to grant you your request.





We hope you found this information helpful. If this message does not answer your question or address your concern, please reply to this email directly keeping the subject line and footer information intact.





Thank you,
MySpace.com

So, I did exactly as they told me and sent them a picture of myself so that they could verify my identity. All I got back was this bucket of crap:

Hello,

We were able to locate your account, but unfortunately we are unable to restore its previous functionality. We can remove the account entirely, which will clear the URL assigned to the profile so you can create a new profile using the previous information. If you'd like to proceed with this option, please reply to this message.

So, there you have it. You hear that? There's NOTHING MySpace can do to fix the problem that THEY caused. If there was a problem with me violating their precious Terms of Agreement or whatever they REALLY should have sent me a warning first, because I have no clue what it was. Was it my user picture of me in my Yatta! outfit? 'Cause if it was, why? That was the ONLY picture I had EVER used as my user picture over the last THREE YEARS, and I had never had any problems with it! WHAT. THE. HELL?

I wouldn't be returning to MySpace if only it wasn't the principal of the thing, you know, I had built up my profile and my friends list over the course of THREE YEARS, and MySpace suddenly rips it out from under me. There are people that I can only contact via MySpace now. So I almost have no choice. And unless I make this profile again, I have no way of messaging all of my contacts to let them know what happened. If I could at least have let them know what happened then maybe I really WOULDN'T return.

Anyway, if any of you were on my MySpace friends list, you may see me disappear, and then I'll be reappearing and REsending you a friends request (EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ALREADY FRIENDS!!!!!). Oh, and if there's any of you out there who have a MySpace account and didn't have me friended before, feel free to send me a friends request sometime over the next day or two at http://www.myspace.com/marzgurlproductions .

God... What is WRONG with people?